Why I don’t care if my kids love music

No, I did not go off the deep end.
I am not off my rocker.
I still love my kids and I still love music.
Just hear me out on this one… 😉

A while back, I heard a parent of a 3 year old say “We’re going to take a break from class. They just don’t seem 100% interested in music right now”

I’ve heard this kind of worry from parents of 6, 8, and 10 year olds too. It doesn’t matter what age.

And it’s coming from the best possible place.

We want our kids to have a happy life.

But it’s also an unnecessary pressure to have our children ready to be adults.

To grow up as quick as possible.
To act more like adults.
Adults that are somehow capable of making their own decisions.
Decisions that will effect the rest of their life.

When choosing music as an activity, we tend to think things like:

“I want this to be their choice”
“Their decision”
“Their thing”
“I want them to want to do it”
“To love it”
“I don’t want to push them to do this”
“I don’t want to have to nag them to practice”

On the surface, that all seems logical. Music, in the end, is supposed to be enjoyable. So thinking with the end in mind, It’s really good to ask yourself…

Do I really want my kid to learn music and to love it?

If the answer is yes, then to make that happen you have to go all in with that decision.

It’s like asking yourself… Do I want my child to have healthy teeth?

If the answer is yes, then you have to go all in with teeth brushing. They will get cavities if you don’t.

Music is no different.

It’s not always going to be fun, easy, and effortless.
All sunshine and rainbows.
Everyone enjoying every part of it.
All the time.
No matter what.

It’s not always going to be that way, nor should it be. It’s very good for kids to learn that…

Skills that are worth having take time and effort to develop

You don’t reap the benefits of music (or feel the pain from the lack of it) until later. I talk to too many adults that have such regret,

Wishing they could turn back time.
Wishing their parents would have had them stick with it instead of quit.
Wishing their parents had given them the opportunity in the first place.

Music itself evokes and conveys such great emotion. That’s what makes it so incredibly rewarding to listen to and to participate in. But, I have to tell you, my own mantra for my kids’ music study is…

Don’t Get Emotionally Wrapped Up In It

I don’t expect them to want to go to their lesson.
I don’t expect them to want to practice.
I don’t expect them to want to go practice on their own.
I don’t even expect them to love music!

Why?

Because it’s just like brushing teeth. It doesn’t matter if they want to do it or love doing it.

We do it.

I know that they won’t get to anything awesome that music has to offer if I get frustrated, give up, and let them quit.

If I get all emotionally tied up about them not wanting to go to their music class or not wanting to practice or what that might mean about their interest or their dedication or their effort or their effort in comparison to my effort…I lose sight of their end goal:

To have the skills and the love of playing music.

If you child’s interest is waning:
Let them have some ownership in what they’re learning.
Let them choose their instrument.
Let them switch instruments.
Let them choose different styles of music.
There is a long list of other things you can do. Click here to ask me for them!

But if it’s really important to you that your child grows up to be musical, don’t let them decide whether or not to be in music.

Make it automatically “their thing”.

And then let’s celebrate together (with all the emotions and the feels) when we see that happen for them! 🙂

I am here to help support you in raising your musical kiddo. Let me know how I can help you on your musical journey!